Hey, Paula, Shut Up

Here's all you need to know about "Hey, Paula," Bravo's new reality series documenting Paula Abdul's life earlier this year. In the closing scene of of the 10 p.m. premiere, a sobbing Abdul says: "I'm tired of people not treating me like the gift that I am."

The seven episode series begins with Paula getting ready to attend the Grammy Awards in February. She sneaks out early to red-eye to Philadelphia to sell jewelry on QVC, and complains to her assistants that they packed the wrong clothes for her to wear on the plane. Once in Philly she worries that people might not buy the stuff on TV, and then jets back to LA.

One of the main characters is her hair stylist Daniel, who says he needs four hours to get Paula ready for the Red Carpet. We also meet her wardrobe assistant Kylie, (former) publicist Jeff (who apparently quit since the show was taped), and her four Chihauhuas (Bessie Moo, Chomps, Thumbelina and Tulip). We also see another woman, apparently her housekeeper or assistant, picking up the dog poop in Paula's backyard.

Bravo only sent out the first show for review. A second episode at 10:30 p.m. tonight includes her taping that loopy "American Idol" satellite interview. The Bravo release explains: "With just two hours of sleep, Abdul attemps to grab some shut-eye after a meeting with perfume manufacturers, but ends up losing a battle with insomnia, and continues to miss night after night of sleep. A full week of meetings later, with no ZZZs, combined with catching the flu, Abdul must get through a series of satellite interviews to promote "American Idol." And this is when she makes headlines once again."


Who cares? I found the first episode as boring as Larry King's interview with Paris Hilton. Bravo should have called this "Poor Paula." (Even if they wanted to, they probably couldn't. Abdul is one of three executive producers and obviously controls the content, and how she's portrayed.) She can't even pack a suitcase for a trip? Or get dressed by herself? And wouldn't dare clean up after her prized pups? Poor Paula.

I'd bet that a reality series about Simon Cowell, Ryan Seacrest or even Randy Jackson would be more interesting.... which is not to say they should be filmed. I wouldn't watch. I'm tired of these celebrity diaries... Aren't you?